This post is coming to you a little bit later than they usually do because I just got home from my crazy antics of being a college student! Wooo! But luckily for me I have the freedom to post these blogs whenever I so choose. So far I really enjoy blogging every day, it keeps me in a fairly positive mindset and for that I'm truly thankful. Well I don't have too much more to talk about, currently...Which is strange I usually talk to much but recently my writing strength is not up to par I suppose. I'm not even quite sure if people even enjoy reading this little blurb before my memory! Agh! Oh well, hopefully I can overcome my writer's block soon!
Memory #22
When my mom was diagnosed with cancer she obviously had to start doing things like chemotherapy and radiation and whatever other chemical type treatment they suggested. When my mom started she was incredibly fortunate to have a support group (consisting of my aunt, my grandparents, my dad, etc.) that accompanied her to almost all of her sessions. Since I was in school, when my mom first got diagnosed, I couldn't accompany my mom during the week. I remember she would usually text me during her sessions out of boredom, at least until she fell asleep (since chemotherapy tends to make you drowsy). The best times were when my mom's session were either on a weekend or when it finally became summer. Those sessions I would usually drive my mom to the hospital to her appointment.
I remember we would walk into the hospital and take the elevator to the third floor, trying our best not to weird out the people who were fortunate enough to be jammed into an elevator with us. I remember always feeling antsy while waiting for the oncologist to call us back and then when they hooked the machine up to my mom to start treatment. The chemotherapy room was this long narrow room with these recliner type chairs with an attached TV, very chair had the ability to become private with a curtain. I remember it always being peculiarly quiet minus the mumbling between other patients and their loved ones, which drove my mom nutso. Which is why I think she enjoyed me coming along for the ride. Usually when we went I would pull up one of the really uncomfortable wait room chairs real close to her recliner and we would watch TV together. First we'd watch some Spanish soap opera and act real goofy, like making up our scripts to what they were saying (We're real funny) then maybe we'd find our way to the cooking channel and over critique everyone on the show pretending to be accomplished chefs, and then finally we'd end up watching HGTV until my mom would drift off.
These moments were some of the most comforting yet terrifying moments I've ever experienced so far. On one hand these are memories of watching television and being goofy with my mom, which is always a favorite of mine, and there was still a sense of normalcy but on the other these were also moments where my mom was completely vulnerable and sometimes even weak. As children we look to our parents as these models of strength and protection, when we are afraid our parents become our heroes. I think that's what makes life so excruciatingly hard sometimes, when our parents show signs of weakness who do we look to for strength? Maybe that's over dramatic but this was something I struggled with.
The point of this memory is to say that even though these hospital trips should have been something that we all tried to avoid my mom made them into something special that I can still smile at. Because like I've said before, and will keep on saying, my mom had a real knack at making anything special.
Love always,
Erin
The times your grandfather and I spent with your Mom during chemo were special times. Sometimes we just watched her sleep. It was almost as though she was our little girl again and we used to just sit and hold her while she slept as an infant. She was our "good" sleeper. She slept so long the first day we had her home from the hospital we got worried that something was wrong and called the doctor! Susan never slept more than two hours as a baby, so we weren't used to a sleeping baby. But the chemo sessions seemed to bring us very close to her. She had been so busy, busy the last few years, we hardly ever got to have one on one visits, usually just family gatherings. After the chemo, we always went to a restaurant and had lunch...usually Mimi's or Chili's (because Joe doesn't like Chili's, she said that was a treat It's a shame we have to having something like cancer to slow us down and spend time together..
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